Juan Bobo and Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter

Posted: February 4, 2013 in Recent Posts
Tags: , , , , , , ,

Juan bobo

Juan Bobo and Abraham Lincoln,

Vampire Hunter

A new movie was released in Puerto Rico which revealed that Abraham Lincoln was a world-class vampire hunter, even during the Civil War. This was news to Juan Bobo – especially when schoolchildren started talking about it in McDonald’s, as though it had been actual history.
The kids didn’t question the existence of vampires – just the notion that Abraham Lincoln chased them around, on a horse, while passing Civil Rights legislation and conducting a war.

But then came the real shock. Some fake psychic in San Juan started calling himself “Abraham Lincoln, Ghost Hunter,” and cutting into Juan’s exorcism business. So just like Honest Abe, Juan went to war: he dressed up like Abraham Lincoln and embarked on a twelve-town “Freedom Tour.”

Lincoln Bobo

In less than one month, Juan liberated hundreds of ghosts from their earthly bonds. He even recited the Gettysburg Address before killing each one.
Four score and seven years ago
I told these ghosts
To get the hell out of Puerto Rico
And just like that, Juan’s business was back on track. He was killing ten ghosts a day.
In Brazil, Paulo Coelho discussed the metaphysics of “killing” a ghost; in San Juan and Ponce, the Walmart stores broke out a “Juan Bobo Ghostbuster” line of clothing.

Juan Bobo GSIJuan Bobo, Ghostbuster

Meanwhile Juan Bobo’s baseball team, the Criollos de Caguas, lost sixteen games in a row.

The Chronicles of Juan Bobo

  1. Anonymous says:

    I will send this to my son’s eighth grade class as they are reading the ridiculous book. Juan is much more clever and interesting. Pam

  2. Gaston Ormazabal says:

    The Juan Bobo stories were famous in Miami – we used to make some up, and read them in school. I love this story !

  3. Nancy Greenberg says:

    I read some Juan Bobo stories while at Yale (!) They were part of an “ethnic studies” course, and were the most enjoyable part of the entire syllabus.

    I remember them as a sort of Aesop’s Fables, with a nice Latino twist. A lot like this blog.

  4. Margaret Hildebrand says:

    I thought “Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter” was a silly and vacuous idea – but this is a sly send-up and greatly enjoyable. Dry wit indeed.

  5. Ernesto Cruz says:


  6. Migdalia Bernal says:

    I thin Juan Bobo looks very distinguished as Abe Lincoln.

  7. Joe Sanchez says:

    I’d say Juan Bobo and Casper the Friendly Ghost would make a great Dynamic Duo. A haunting we will go…Boo!

  8. Ed Vega says:

    Juan Bobo is a steampunk ghost hunter. Very cool.

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