Juan Bobo Escapes from Puerto Rico

Posted: February 11, 2013 in Recent Posts
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Juan bobo

Juan Bobo Escapes

from Puerto Rico

It was a shame, really. After winning the longest game in baseball history, Juan Bobo organized the most famous party in Puerto Rico. He brought in musicians, prostitutes, roast suckling pig, and his own special rum.

Don Q Bobo


Juan filled the washing machine with coquito. Bambino found a barrel of sugarcane rum, Choco found twenty cases of Corona, and a Budweiser truck delivered eight ice-cold kegs. And then the wine came, gallons and gallons of it. Juan was ready for anything. He even built a special bar for the occasion.

Juan Bobo 3

A few fights broke out, but no self-respecting Puerto Rican party would be complete without them. In fact, the mayor of Caguas and two priests were there, and they  joined in the fights, too. 
Juan even gave a special performance of Celia Cruz’s greatest hits.

Juan Bobo CruzAzucar  !

And so it was a shame, really, that Adam Clayton Powell VI got into an argument with Juan Bobo, and the sheriff of Caguas shot Powell in the face. The party didn’t last much longer after that, and there was a lot of leftover chicken.
Powell ran down a dusty road, and died a hundred feet from Juan’s house. The sheriff (a.k.a. Papo Bullshit) advised Juan to leave Puerto Rico in a hurry, and Juan agreed.
When they reached the airport, they hugged quickly and quietly since there was no time for sentiment. As he looked at Juan for the last time, Papo made the sign of the cross and asked for God’s protection. Then he told Juan to be strong, to play  hard, that el béisbol is about taking your best cut and swinging from the heels, because America is all curveballs.

The Chronicles of Juan Bobo

  1. Genoveva Pabon says:

    Juan Bobo is a cat with nine lives. He will do fine in the good ole U.S.A. Just watch out for liars, thieves and con men…i.e. most everyone in business or politics.

  2. Margaret Hildebrand says:

    Don’t take any wooden nickels or insults from anyone up there, Juan! We’re rooting for you.

  3. Joe Sanchez says:

    Curveballs or not, Juan Bobo is in for some new life experiences, especially when it comes to the Big Leagues in the mainland. Best of luck, Juan Bobo. And remember… unlike the song in West Side Story…everything is not free in America. Be proud and work hard, lest you let Wilfredo { Welfare } take over your life.

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