Archive for April, 2013

Juan bobo

Juan Bobo History Lesson

Joe Bataan 

Joe Bataan was a Salsa pioneer during the 1960’s and 1970’s. He founded the Latin Swingers band, and created a distinctive melodic mix of Latin boogaloo and African American doo-wop.

Bataan released eight original titles for Fania Records, which included the gold-selling Riot!

Joe Bataan

 

In 1973, Bataan helped coin the phrase “salsoul” and co-founded the Salsoul Records label, for which he recorded three albums and several singles.  In 1979, his Rap-O Clap-O became an early hip hop hit. After his 1981 album, “Bataan II,” he retired from music-making to spend more time with his family and to work as a youth counselor .

In 2005, Bataan broke his long hiatus with the release of Call My Name, a well-received album recorded for Spain’s Vampisoul label.

Joe Bataan was, and remains, a unique artist with a great commitment toward his community. He is a true gentleman, and a terrific role model.

Here is a YouTube sample of an early Bataan classic:

The Chronicles of Juan Bobo

Juan bobo

Juan Bobo Accused

of Buying Votes

HARLEM, NEW YORK – In a packed news conference, Congressman Charles Rangel accused the Puerto Rican Guy, also known as Juan Bobo, of violating U.S. federal election laws.

“He’s buying votes!” he shouted. “They should throw him in jail!”

Reminded that for the past 40 years, he has done precisely the same thing, Congressman Rangel was quick to respond. “I give people a little taste. There’s nothing wrong with that. But this guy just hands out money!”

The Congressman’s staff distributed some U.S. currency to every reporter. The bills did appear a bit strange.

3 dollar Bobo

“Just yesterday, the Puerto Rican handed these out at three senior centers,” said Rangel. “Then he handed out hundreds more, in front of the Apollo Theatre.

Congressman Rangel demanded an immediate audit of the Committee to Elect Juan Bobo. “Making empty promises is one thing,” said Rangel. “I do it all the time. But handing out three dollar bills…that’s really low.”  

The Chronicles of Juan Bobo

Juan bobo

Juan Bobo Spotted in Arecibo

ARECIBO, PR  –  Juan Bobo has been spotted by the largest radio telescope in the world in Arecibo, Puerto Rico.

Actually, Bobo was spotted in the telescope.

His image was nearly 2,000 feet long and visible from outer space.

outer space BoboJuan Bobo as seen from outer space

The CIA responded immediately and arrested every scientist in Arecibo.

Arresting BoboThe scientists were arrested

We demand an investigation into these arrests.

The CIA is trying to eliminate every Puerto Rican scientist, and using Juan Bobo as an excuse. 

The Chronicles of Juan Bobo

Juan bobo

Juan Bobo History Lesson:

The Truman Assassination Attempt

On November 1, 1950, two men attempted to assassinate President Harry S. Truman. It was a desperate effort to turn the world’s attention to the U.S. colonial regime in Puerto Rico.

The attempt failed. Griselio Torresola was killed, Oscar Collazo was shot in the chest, and a policeman was killed.

For a one-sided newsreel about the assassination attempt, brought to you by the Liberty National Insurance Company, see here: 

The Chronicles of Juan Bobo

Juan bobo

Juan Bobo History Lesson:

José Feliciano

According to many, José Feliciano is the greatest living guitarist in the world. He was born blind in 1945 in Lares, Puerto Rico, and given a cuatro guitar as a present at age 3.

José became quite good at it, and by age 18 we was signed to a recording contract with RCA Victor.

Many people know him for Light My Fire and Feliz Navidad. But his musical range includes Spanish classical guitar, blues, R&B, just about every genre imaginable.

Here is a video bio about him. It would have been much better if the announcer shut up, and we could just here José Feliciano play.

But oh, that guitar is marvelous.

The Chronicles of Juan Bobo

Juan bobo

Juan Bobo Says:

the Name is Bobo. James Bond Bobo.

CAGUAS, PR – In a break from his hectic campaign schedule, Juan Bobo accepted another role in a Hollywood film.

Bobo will play South of the border secret agent Jaime Bond.

His first Bond film, a re-make of the classic Goldfinger, won the Golden Lion in the 2009 Berlin Film Festival, and foreign critics are raving about it.

Ladies and gentlemen, we are proud to introduce the new Latino 007.

Golden Bobo

The Chronicles of Juan Bobo

 

Juan bobo

Juan Bobo Surfaces in Japan

TOKYO – On the run from the Internal Revenue Service, Juan Bobo has surfaced in Japan and declared himself beyond extradition.

After eight months of intensive training, Juan Bobo is now the foremost Sumo wrestler in Tokyo.

Sumo Bobo

Juan Bobo refuses to pay any more income taxes

According to the Nippon Herald, two IRS agents visited Juan Bobo last month, but he sat on them and they subsequently disappeared.

The Chronicles of Juan Bobo

Juan bobo

Juan Bobo’s Bachelor Pad

EAST HARLEM, NY – Juan Bobo was invaded by the Sanitation Department of NYC last week.

An anonymous caller complained of a foul smell coming from his Washington Heights apartment.

When the garbage men arrived they found mountains of boxes; towers of newspapers and books; heaps of chandeliers, sofas and debris; human limbs and organs (including a pickled kidney); a Robert Morton Wonder Organ with twin pipe chambers; and a Model T Ford.

A dead man was found in a closet. 

A dog was found beneath two tons of Carolina rice.

In all, they found 200,000 pounds of garbage in Bobo’s apartment. It was piled nine feet high, and had to be evacuated through the building windows.

Bobo Collyer2

The fire and police departments had to pass garbage up to the roof.

Removing garbage through the roof

Three fork lift trucks had to haul Bobo’s garbage away, for an entire month.

We do not believe this was Juan Bobo’s garbage. There were no Coronas, no no matzoh balls, no bottles of coquito.

This is part of the ongoing plot to discredit Juan Bobo, the only Puerto Rican worth voting for.

The Chronicles of Juan Bobo

 

Juan bobo

Juan Bobo History Lesson:

The United Fruit Company

By 1930 the United Fruit Company owned over one million acres of land in Panama, Guatemala, Honduras, Colombia, Nicaragua, Costa Rica, Mexico and Cuba.

By 1940, in Honduras alone, the United Fruit Company owned 50 percent of all private land in the entire country. In Guatemala, the United Fruit Company owned 75 percent of all private land by 1942 – plus most of Guatemala’s roads, power stations and phone lines, the only Pacific seaport, and every mile of railroad.

By 1930, over 40 percent of all the arable land in Puerto Rico had been converted into sugar plantations, which were entirely owned by ex-Governor Charles Allen and U.S. banking interests. These bank syndicates also owned the entire coastal railroad, and the San Juan international seaport.

The U.S. government (particularly the CIA) supported all these economic exploits. They provided military persuasion whenever necessary. They murdered people in broad daylight, if they got in the way. The most famous of these was the “Banana Massacre” in Columbia.

Here’s more about United Fruit:

The Chronicles of Juan Bobo

Juan bobo

Juan Bobo Arrested in Cuba

HAVANA, CUBA – Juan Bobo is in trouble with Fidel Castro.         

He performed a Celia Cruz imitation in Havana, but Fidel thought Juan was imitating him.

Juan Bobo CruzAzucar!

By the time Bobo finished Bamboleo, Fidel had sentenced him to three years.

Juan tried to escape by swimming to Miami…but disappeared somewhere in the Caribbean Strait.

Bobo Felps

Please notify us if you’ve seen him.

The Chronicles of Juan Bobo