Juan Bobo Announces Department of Rubble and Urban Development

Posted: June 25, 2013 in Recent Posts
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Juan bobo

Juan Bobo Announces Department of

Rubble and Urban Development

ORLANDO, FL — “Vote for me,” yelled Juan Bobo. “Because we need to turn lemons into lemonade.”

Standing on a pile of rocks, on the front steps of actor Erik Estrada’s crumbling old house near LakeBuena Vista, the Puerto Rican declared himself a candidate for Mayor of Orlando.

He then demanded the creation of a new Cabinet-level federal bureaucracy, the Department of Rubble and Urban Development.

Bobo RubbleJuan Bobo demands more rubble

“We need to manage our rubble,” he shouted. “Rubble is our most abundant resource, the fastest-growing sector of our economy.”

Juan Bobo had a point.

With a deepening national recession and a 91% rise in Orlando home foreclosures over the past year alone, he declared that “action movies and rubble are America’s greatest exports.”

“We must respect the Black-Scholes equation, and create a path to capitalization on our vast and ever-increasing supply of rock fragments and crumbling masonry.”

Reporters were confused by the Spanish accent and MBA double-talk, but then he     pointed over his shoulder and made sense.

RubbleErik Estrada’s house, before and after 2009 foreclosure

Erik Estrada, the renowned Buddhist, had defaulted on a sub-prime loan. The aging movie actor had fallen victim to predatory lending practices and a receding hairline.

Rats, condoms and Chinese takeout were piled waist-high, all around the crumbling Estrada house.

Juan Bobo was inspired by it.

“Look at this gorgeous rubble,” he shouted. “This is the new American frontier.  We must accept the reality of rubble and our new rubble economy.”

“And as your next Mayor, I will take strong and immediate steps, to end our dependence on foreign rubble.”

As the crowd cheered, the Bobo prayed for the people.

Then he prayed for more rubble. 

Bobo ProsperityPraying for the people’s prosperity

The Chronicles of Juan Bobo

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Comments
  1. Joe sanchez says:

    If he has the smile and big white teeth, Erik Estrada has, Juan Bobo is sure to win. If no teeth, then ask to borrow them from Estrada. They are probably dentures.

  2. Wito Pacheco says:

    Juan Bobo should be president.

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