Fifty Shades of Juan Bobo

Posted: September 9, 2013 in Recent Posts
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Juan bobo

Fifty Shades of Juan Bobo

One day, while the Criollos were losing by 13-2 to the second-worst team in the league, Juan Bobo caught his shortstop reading Fifty Shades of Grey in the dugout.  Juan fined him $100 and snatched it away.

It sounded like a book on interior decorating but, as he flipped through it, Juan became very disturbed.

Ai coño,” he said. 

The book was about spanking – Juan found this shocking, barbaric, and he had stopped doing it a long time ago. He refused to participate in any degradation of women, regardless of what his family said.

Juan’s great grandfather, Juan Bobo Camacho, built a cattle empire based on discipline and family values. 

Juan Bobo 1

His grandfather, the Rev. Bobo Bautista, performed 14 exorcisms and saved dozens of women from eternal damnation

Juan Bobo Spanking

Juan’s father was an accountant. He did the best he could. 

Juan Bobo Spanking 2

But Juan had put all this behind him. He threw away the book and gave it no further thought. Then a week later at LuisMuñozMarínAirport, Juan Bobo saw the graphic novel version of Fifty Shades.

Fifty Shades Of Juan Bobo

Juan bought the book and was shocked all over again. The story was poorly written, but the real problem was the spanking techniques. They were exactly the ones his father had used. Scene after scene – the entire book – was based on the Bobo spanking style.

This was too much for Juan. The Yánquis had stolen his island, his farm lands, heritage and history – and now the Bobo family spanking techniques. They sold 65 million books and gave nothing back.  So Juan sued Random House, and demanded some money for his baseball field.

The Chronicles of Juan Bobo

  1. Wito Pacheco says:

    Juan Bobo spanked Random House…good. They deserve a good spanking.

  2. Joe Sanchez says:

    Goes to show you can’t judge a book by its cover.

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