Juan bobo

Juan Bobo Shoots his Twin Brother 

CAGUAS, P.R. – Juan Bobo fatally shot his twin brother with a .38-caliber revolver during an altercation in their shared Caguas womb.

This same Bobo is wanted by the FBI, for illegal DNA experiments which he conducted in a South Bronx basement.

Pursuant to Section 215 of the Patriot Act and Section 501 of the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act (FISA), records were recently forwarded to the Pentagon, U. S. wire services, and the National Enquirer.

Found in the basement of a Caguas, Puerto Rico police precinct, these records prove that the Juan Bobo was a pre-natal terrorist.

womb shootingManos arriba!

According to the police records, Ms. Maria Bobo was awakened at 4 a.m. on September 15, 2013 by a scuffle in her uterus.

She dismissed it as routine kicking, but 30 minutes later she heard three pistol shots.

Forensic x-rays revealed that the unborn gunman  –  identified as a five-inch fetus with no eyes or hair  –  shot his brother twice in what eventually would have become his heart.

After a tense four-hour standoff, the fetus threw out his weapon when police threatened to induce labor.

Police spokesmen denied the use of tear gas, and a forced C-section was impossible, due to a power outage at CaguasMunicipalHospital.

The fetus was a member of the Puerto Rican Socialist Party, which later claimed credit for the power outage in the San Juan Star.

police sceneThe scene of the crime

The mother was unharmed in the shooting. Two bullets lodged themselves in the twin brother. 

A third passed harmlessly through her birth canal and killed a rooster.

The fetus did not emerge from the crime scene, but a court-appointed lawyer said the fetus would surrender himself peacefully, upon post-partum separation from his mother. 

“This whole tragic chain of events is hard to comprehend,” said Caguas mayor Simforoso Alicea.

“Where did we as a community fail this unborn fetus? Could parents have done a better job of conceiving, carrying, and pre-natally educating it? And how did the fetus get access to firearms?” 

According to Caguas police, the fetus used a revolver registered to his father.

On advice of attorney Yonosay Nada, Esq., the fetus offered no comment on the shooting. 

Due to his client’s fetal position, Nada invoked the law of habeus corpus and Sections 1 through 69 of the Napoleonic Code.

Upon remand to Casos Juveniles de Caguas, the case was adjourned in contemplation of dismissal.

This pre-natal terrorist, Juan Bobo, is now at large.

The latest photo of him appeared on a t-shirt:

Bobo Shirt

 

Should you happen to see Juan Bobo, please notify the FBI or this page immediately.

The Chronicles of Juan Bobo

Advertisements
Comments
  1. Joe Sanchez says:

    I shot the sheriff…but I didn’t shoot no brother…oh, no! They are trying to drag me down. It was I who shot the sheriff, but I swear it was in self-defense. “I love my brother”, said Juan Bobo.

  2. Wito Pacheco says:

    Juan Bobo es un gran terrorista.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s