Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter

Posted: September 30, 2013 in Recent Posts
Tags: , , , , , , ,

Juan bobo

Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter

A new movie was released in Puerto Rico which revealed that Abraham Lincoln was a world-class vampire hunter, even during the Civil War. This was news to Juan Bobo – especially when schoolchildren started talking about it in McDonald’s, as though it had been actual history.

The kids didn’t question the existence of vampires – just the notion that Abraham Lincoln chased them around, on a horse, while passing Civil Rights legislation and conducting a war.

But then came the real shock. Some fake psychic in San Juan started calling himself “Abraham Lincoln, Ghost Hunter,” and cutting into Juan’s exorcism business. So just like Honest Abe, Juan went to war: he dressed up like Abraham Lincoln and embarked on a twelve-town “Freedom Tour.” 

Lincoln Bobo


In less than one month, Juan liberated hundreds of ghosts from their earthly bonds. He even recited the Gettysburg Address before killing each one.

Four score and seven years ago

I told these ghosts

To get the hell out of Puerto Rico

And just like that, Juan’s business was back on track. He was killing ten ghosts a day.

In Brazil, Paulo Coelho discussed the metaphysics of “killing” a ghost; in San Juan

and Ponce, the Walmart stores broke out a “Juan Bobo Ghostbuster” line of clothing.

Juan Bobo GSIJuan Bobo, Ghostbuster

Meanwhile Juan Bobo’s baseball team, the Criollos de Caguas, lost sixteen games in a row.

The Chronicles of Juan Bobo

  1. Wito Pacheco says:

    Juan better pay more attention to his baseball team.

  2. Joe Sanchez says:

    I don’t care how many ghost Juan Bobo hunts down. As long as he leaves Casper the Friendly Ghost alone, he has no problem with me.

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