Posts Tagged ‘Don Q’

Juan bobo

The Criollos de Caguas

Show Renewed Spirit

CAGUAS, PR  –  The new manager of the Criollos de Caguas, Mr. Juan Bobo, has already had a great impact. Within one week, the entire team has shown a great new competitive spirit.

They all look like winners. Here is their leadoff man, expressing his feelings about a pitch.

Here is their catcher, chasing a foul ball.

Baseball Catcher

Here is the bullpen, showing their support in between innings.

Here is the entire team, inquiring about sleeping accomodations during a double header.

Baseball Brawl

Juan Bobo clearly knows how to motivate a team. We can’t wait for the Puerto Rico winter league season to begin!

Complete coverage of the Criollos de Caguas will continue on these pages.

The Chronicles of Juan Bobo

Juan bobo

The Criollos de Caguas

Part II

CAGUAS, PR  –  Juan Bobo, the new manager of the Criollos de Caguas baseball team, has just announced his new line-up for the 2014 season.

“We are in a building year,” said Bobo. “The emphasis will be on youth and career promise.”

When reporters pointed out that the new players looked a little too young, Bobo responded “tell that to Vince Lombardi. Recruit the athlete, not the position.”

Criollos De CaguasThe new Criollos de Caguas

Bobo pointed out that his pitching staff is still stacked with veterans.

“Our starting pitcher, Don Q, will set the standard for the entire team, “said Bobo. “We will all benefit from his baseball wisdom…both on and off the field.”

Don Q is still undergoing shoulder rehab, and was not available for comment.

DrunkDon Q in rehab

Complete coverage of the Criollos de Caguas  and Don Q’s rehabilitation will continue on these pages.

The Chronicles of Juan Bobo

Juan bobo

The Criollos de Caguas

CAGUAS, PR  –  In preparation for its 2014 season, the Puerto Rican winter baseball league just announced the new manager of the Criollos de Caguas.

As you may have guessed, the new manager is Juan Bobo. The outgoing manager, Adam Clayton Powell VII, was caught by surprise.

Surprised PowellPowell was surprised

According to Powell, “Juan Bobo is a fraud. He knows nothing about baseball. The only way he got this job, was by bribing people in Caguas.”

Santa BoboBobo bribing people in Caguas

Bobo’s first job will be to assist Don Q, the Criollos starting pitcher, with the rehabilitation of his right shoulder.

DrunkDon Q in rehab

Complete coverage of the Criollos de Caguas  and Don Q’s rehabilitation will continue on these pages.

The Chronicles of Juan Bobo

Juan bobo

Juan Bobo, Filadelfo

and His Magic Accordion

Every day, before every game, the Criollos de Caguas had to awaken Filadelfo the accordion player. He was always snoring in right field, wrapped in a tattered blanket, sleeping off a drunk.

Filadelfo had toured with Mantovani, but now he played only one tune when intoxicated – En Mi Viejo San Juan. When very drunk he also remembered fragments of Mendelssohn’s Spring Song.

Filadelfo when sober

As the only high-brow musician in the whole town, Filadelfo possessed a just celebrity. He was brilliant and industrious – his sons and daughters were innumerable – but the artistic temperament was too much for him.

On February 9, 2012, Filadelfo was passed out, and draped like an “L” over a bench. He refused to wake up. But the mayor of Caguas was there for  the big game, so Juan Bobo had no choice, and he ordered the ground crew to throw a bucket of ice water on Filadelfo.

DrunkHe refused to wake up

The accordionist sprang up in a rage, and placed a curse on both teams. “You’re all in a hurry?” he yelled. “Okay, so keep on hurrying!”

From that point on, the baseball game became very strange. Every batter on both teams connected with the first pitch, for either an immediate hit or an immediate out. 

They hit every pitch

The game proceeded at lightning speed and, by the end of the day, the game was tied at 24-24 after 59 innings. The Criollos pitcher Don Q was becoming a nervous wreck, and started drinking Bacardi in the dugout.

Everyone in the stadium had heard Filadelfo, and they started whispering that “the curse of Filadelfo” had taken over the game.

Juan Bobo had never seen anything like it.

The Chronicles of Juan Bobo

Juan bobo

Juan Bobo: The Don Q Candidate

WASHINGTON HEIGHTS, NY – Juan Bobo’s campaign was going great. He was all set to become the next congressman from Washington Heights. And then the accusations began.

“He’s a bootlegger!” screamed his opponent Charlie Rangel. “He’s buying votes with his rum! As proof, Rangel whipped a label out of his pocket, with Bobo’s photo on it:

Don Q Bobo

This all came as a shock to Juan Bobo, who denies any association with Don Q, and has not had a drink in 16 years.

“Somebody’s doing something slick,” said Bobo, as his bus rolled down Amsterdam Avenue.

“We must be winning, or else they wouldn’t be lying.”

Juan Bobo Bus

The Chronicles of Juan Bobo