Posts Tagged ‘History Lesson (short story)’

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Juan Bobo History Lesson:


The town of Barceloneta, Puerto Rico has some

He made many recordings throughout his career, of solo, chamber, and orchestral music, also as conductor, but he is perhaps best remembered for the recordings of the Bach Cello Suites he made from 1936 to 1939.

Pablo Casals’ mother was from Mayaguez, Puerto Rico. He married Marta Montañez y Martinez, a Puerto Rican woman, and lived in Puerto Rico the last 17 years of his life. He made an impact in the Puerto Rican music scene by founding the Puerto Rico Symphony Orchestra in 1958, and the Conservatory of Music of Puerto Rico in 1959.

In 1956 he founded the Casals Music Festival, which continues to be held yearly in San Juan. Here is film clip, of Casals playing the Bach Suite No. 1:

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Juan Bobo History Lesson:

 Operation Portrex

A few months before the Korean War, the U.S. staged the largest war games in American history.

Known as “Operation Portrex,” it sent 32,000 soldiers of the 82nd U.S. Airborne to invade the island of Vieques, which was defended by the 65th Infantry Division of Puerto Rico, also known as the “Borinqueneers,” who had only 4,000 soldiers.  

The 82nd invades Vieques

Despite these 8:1 odds, and despite a coordinated land-air-sea assault, the Borinqueneers held the island. 

You can view a newsreel about Operation Portrex here:

The newsreel has one fundamental inaccuracy. It claims that the 82nd succeeded in their assault. In fact, they failed. The historical record is clear and unambiguous about this.

But taxpayers need to be reassured.

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Juan Bobo Creates the   

Ostrich Political Party

Harlem, NYC – Juan Bobo today announced the creation of a third major political party in America.

“The Ostrich Party will have something for everyone!” he declared, in front of a Best Buy store.

Ostrich Bobo

“We will not lose a single election,” shouted the Puerto Rican. “And as you know, winning is everything.”

Asked how the Ostrich will accomplish this, he said “because we are dressed for success. Every time we break a promise to the American people, we will replace it with a better one…and hire a celebrity to endorse it.”

This lofty principle was articulated more fully in the Ostrich Party Platform.

“If you think President Obama is a useless puppet,” said Juan Bobo, “wait till you see me!” 

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Juan Bobo Trying to Scream

Løten, Norway – Juan Bobo is not very talkative today. He is somewhere in Norway, trapped inside an Edvard Munch painting.

It all started when Juan dozed off after reading Strindberg’s A Dream Play. Juan dreamed that a witch named Agnes was trying to kill him and – worse yet – sue him for child support.

The dream solidified and Juan found himself trapped in the hypnopompic sleep phase. For the past three days he has been stuck in Munch’s world.

Juan Bobo Picasso


We will keep you posted on Juan’s progress, but it doesn’t look good.

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Juan Bobo Makes the Ladies Scream

Juan Bobo refuses to be type-cast. A Hollywood straitjacket has been placed on him, as the handsome leading man.

Juan Bobo Time Mag

But Juan is too big for stereotypes, Puerto Rican or otherwise. Next week Paramount Pictures announces the release of Juan Bobo’s breakthrough film: Friday 13thJason Takes Manhattan.

Bobo the 13th

“Juan Bobo is a savage!” said Paramount Chairman Donald Pleasance.

“He put a Puerto Rican twist into Jason, and now the ladies are going crazy!”

This may be no exaggeration. According to the Hollywood Reporter, seven women passed out during test screenings of the film.

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Juan Bobo History Lesson:

José Feliciano

According to many, José Feliciano is the greatest living guitarist in the world. He was born blind in 1945 in Lares, Puerto Rico, and given a cuatro guitar as a present at age 3.

José became quite good at it, and by age 18 we was signed to a recording contract with RCA Victor.

Many people know him for Light My Fire and Feliz Navidad. But his musical range includes Spanish classical guitar, blues, R&B, just about every genre imaginable.

Here is a video bio about him. It would have been much better if the announcer shut up, and we could just here José Feliciano play.

But oh, that guitar is marvelous.

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Juan Bobo History Lesson

Joe Bataan 

Joe Bataan was a Salsa pioneer during the 1960’s and 1970’s. He founded the Latin Swingers band, and created a distinctive melodic mix of Latin boogaloo and African American doo-wop.

Bataan released eight original titles for Fania Records, which included the gold-selling Riot!

Joe Bataan


In 1973, Bataan helped coin the phrase “salsoul” and co-founded the Salsoul Records label, for which he recorded three albums and several singles.  In 1979, his Rap-O Clap-O became an early hip hop hit. After his 1981 album, “Bataan II,” he retired from music-making to spend more time with his family and to work as a youth counselor .

In 2005, Bataan broke his long hiatus with the release of Call My Name, a well-received album recorded for Spain’s Vampisoul label.

Joe Bataan was, and remains, a unique artist with a great commitment toward his community. He is a true gentleman, and a terrific role model.

Here is a YouTube sample of an early Bataan classic:

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Juan Bobo Accused

of Buying Votes

HARLEM, NEW YORK – In a packed news conference, Congressman Charles Rangel accused the Puerto Rican Guy, also known as Juan Bobo, of violating U.S. federal election laws.

“He’s buying votes!” he shouted. “They should throw him in jail!”

Reminded that for the past 40 years, he has done precisely the same thing, Congressman Rangel was quick to respond. “I give people a little taste. There’s nothing wrong with that. But this guy just hands out money!”

The Congressman’s staff distributed some U.S. currency to every reporter. The bills did appear a bit strange.

3 dollar Bobo

“Just yesterday, the Puerto Rican handed these out at three senior centers,” said Rangel. “Then he handed out hundreds more, in front of the Apollo Theatre.

Congressman Rangel demanded an immediate audit of the Committee to Elect Juan Bobo. “Making empty promises is one thing,” said Rangel. “I do it all the time. But handing out three dollar bills…that’s really low.”  

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Juan Bobo Spotted in Arecibo

ARECIBO, PR  –  Juan Bobo has been spotted by the largest radio telescope in the world in Arecibo, Puerto Rico.

Actually, Bobo was spotted in the telescope.

His image was nearly 2,000 feet long and visible from outer space.

outer space BoboJuan Bobo as seen from outer space

The CIA responded immediately and arrested every scientist in Arecibo.

Arresting BoboThe scientists were arrested

We demand an investigation into these arrests.

The CIA is trying to eliminate every Puerto Rican scientist, and using Juan Bobo as an excuse. 

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Juan Bobo History Lesson:

The Truman Assassination Attempt

On November 1, 1950, two men attempted to assassinate President Harry S. Truman. It was a desperate effort to turn the world’s attention to the U.S. colonial regime in Puerto Rico.

The attempt failed. Griselio Torresola was killed, Oscar Collazo was shot in the chest, and a policeman was killed.

For a one-sided newsreel about the assassination attempt, brought to you by the Liberty National Insurance Company, see here: 

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