Posts Tagged ‘History’

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Juan Bobo History Lesson:

The Truman Assassination Attempt

On November 1, 1950, two men attempted to assassinate President Harry S. Truman. It was a desperate effort to turn the world’s attention to the U.S. colonial regime in Puerto Rico.

The attempt failed. Griselio Torresola was killed, Oscar Collazo was shot in the chest, and a policeman was killed.

For a one-sided newsreel about the assassination attempt, brought to you by the Liberty National Insurance Company, see here: 

The Chronicles of Juan Bobo

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Juan bobo

The Little Park of Memories

On the banks of the Rio Turabo, right near Juan Bobo’s house, there was a strange cemetery.

Juan called it the Little Park of Memories, but he never told anyone about it. He wasn’t sure anyone would believe him. He wasn’t even sure the cemetery even existed. 

The Little Park of Memories

Many of the gravestones told how the person had died, and the stories were most unusual.

Dylcia Pagán (1918-1962) had spontaneously combusted while eating a ham sandwich. Petra Allende (1929-1963) gave birth to twins with a pig’s tail. José Jimenez (1931-1970) kept repeating his name, five times a minute, for eight years. 

Jose Jimenez

Puchi Pirandello (1946-1976) burned down a post office. Sísifo de Corinto (1937-1984) became convinced that the same day was repeating itself over and over, and hung himself during a Reagan speech. 

HangingHung himself during a Reagan speech

Every night that he visited the cemetery, Juan would see a tiny green light on the far side of the Rio Turabo. It looked like a useless traffic light, granting some permission that no one had asked for, and nobody needed….certainly no one from the Little Park of Memories.

The next morning like every morning, the cemetery would disappear, the green light was gone, and Juan’s memories faded with the light of dawn. 

The Chronicles of Juan Bobo

Juan bobo

Juan Bobo History Lesson:

 The Truman Assassination Attempt

On November 1, 1950, two men attempted to assassinate President Harry S. Truman. It was a desperate effort to turn the world’s attention to the U.S. colonial regime in Puerto Rico.

The attempt failed. Griselio Torresola was killed, Oscar Collazo was shot in the chest, and a policeman was killed.

For a one-sided newsreel about the assassination attempt, brought to you by the Liberty National Insurance Company, see here: 

The Chronicles of Juan Bobo

Juan bobo

Juan Bobo says: Happy July 4th!

WASHINGTON HEIGHTS, NYC  – We wish you a fabulous and safe July 4th weekend.

As a public service, we provide conclusive evidence that Juan Bobo was the original symbol of the American Revolution.

Bobo 4th July

The white man has re-written our history and suppressed the truth.

But what the heck…we know that Juan Bobo was there.

So happy July 4th, and please drink responsibly!

The Chronicles of Juan Bobo

Juan bobo

The True Boston Tea Party 

BOSTON, MASS.  –  Your history books are lying.

Due to racist historians, the true origin of the Boston Tea Party has never been revealed.

But the camera never lies.

An early daguerreotype shows the moment when the tea party erupted, and who was leading it.

Tea Party Hulk

The white man should be ashamed, for suppressing this vital historical information.

The Chronicles of Juan Bobo

Juan bobo

Juan Bobo History Lesson:

Correa Cotto

Correa Cotto beheaded his girlfriend, stabbed his stepfather, and strangled some guy named Luis. He also killed several cops and escaped repeatedly from jail.

On October 30, 1950 he staged a mass riot in El Oso Blanco, the largest prison in

Puerto Rico. Correa escaped that night, with dozens of guards and policemen chasing after him. Since October 30, 1950 was also the date of the Puerto Rican Nationalist Revolts, some people say that Correa was a patriot.

They made three movies about him. Here is a trailer from one of them:

The Chronicles of Juan Bobo

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Juan Bobo Scientology

(Bobo Frees the Slaves)

WEST POINT, NY – Juan Bobo has recently emerged as a key figure in American history. Thanks to Bobo, the slaves went free.

As you know, Juan Bobo is a Scientology master of MEST (matter, energy, space and time). This allowed him to appear in a cloud to the West Point cadets during a training exercise on July 4, 1858.

He “spot checked” them for battle readiness.

Scientology Bobo

The cadets were escorting women during the entire exercise. They didn’t even fire their cannons.

243 cadets were expelled from West Point on that day of July 4, 1858. But the ones that stayed became alert military officers.

Thanks to Juan Bobo and his Scientology MEST powers, the North won the war and the slaves went free. 

The Chronicles of Juan Bobo

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Juan Bobo on the Economy

Juan Bobo is running for President again.  He is already on the ballot in thirty nine states.

Juan Bobo for President

 

He also has a ground-breaking economic vision for America. His economic platform is powerful and profound. According to Leo Machuchal, there  IS no American economy. 

Economy Graph

Once he becomes our President, Juan Bobo will show us how to survive in a country that has no economy.

Don’t forget to vote for him.

The Chronicles of Juan Bobo

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Juan Bobo History Lesson:

Rafael Hernández

Rafael Hernández was born into a poor family. As a child, he learned the craft of cigar making, from which he made a modest living. He also grew to love music and asked his parents to permit him to become a full-time music student. He learned to play the piano, clarinet, tuba, violin  and guitar.

At the age of 14, he played for the Cocolia Orquestra. However, it was when he learned how to write music that his life and the history of Puerto Rican music would change forever.

His music portrayed the ocean, mountains, hurricanes and people that define Puerto Rico. His compositions of Preciosa and Lamento Borincano expressed the soul of an entire island, and its turbulent history. Here is a piano rendition of Preciosa, along with images of his many works:

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Juan Bobo History Lesson:

Toño Bicicleta

Toño Bicicleta beheaded his girlfriend, stabbed his stepfather, and strangled some guy named Luis. He also killed several cops and escaped repeatedly from jail.
 
On October 30, 1950 he staged a mass riot in La Princesa, the largest prison in Puerto Rico. Toño escaped that night, with dozens of guards and policemen chasing after him. Since October 30, 1950 was also the date of the Puerto Rican Nationalist Revolts, some people say that Toño was a patriot.
 

By the time the police caught and killed him in 1995, Toño had become a legend all over the island – not because they approved of his crimes, but because he managed to escape seven times, from maximum security prisons…on a bicycle.
 
That’s why they called him Toño Bicicleta.
 
They made three movies about him. Here is a trailer from one of them:
 

 

The Chronicles of Juan Bobo