Posts Tagged ‘Politics’

Juan bobo

Juan Bobo Trailer Park

NEW YORK, NY  – As part of his congressional campaign, Juan Bobo announced a revolutionary housing initiative for the people of  Washington Heights.

Bobo thrilled the crowd with a few card tricks, then yanked a tablecloth and revealed his ultimate miracle: a four-story, pre-fabricated trailer park.

“Now everyone in my district can own a dream home!” shouted Bobo. “Why should rich people have all the fun?” 

The Juan Bobo trailer park

According to Mr. Bobo, any registered Democrat will qualify for a trailer. All they have to do is vote for me.

“I’m bringing congress back to the people,” he said. “And the people want trailer parks.”

The Chronicles of Juan Bobo

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Juan bobo

Juan Bobo’s Income Tax Tips

Part VII

Juan Bobo has never been audited. His friend Papo Bullshit is audited every year. But Papo has a simple technique, that settles every tax audit very quickly.

For the past 37 years, Papo welcomes the tax man graciously into his home.

He serves them a home-made piragua.

Bobo Piragua

Then he says “say hello to my little friend.”     

Papo has not paid any taxes since 1975.

The Chronicles of Juan Bobo

Juan bobo

Leo’s Income Tax Tips Part XI

Leo has many powerful tax techniques. He tried a new one last year, and the IRS had no problem with it.

Leo became a severely under-talented Shakesperean actor.

He kept forgetting his lines, entered and exited at the wrong times, and carried a skull around the stage for no reason.

Hamlet & Juan BoboBut, soft! Methinks I scent the morning air

An Internal Revenue agent caught Leo’s show, and agreed that it was impossible for Leo to earn any income as an actor – Shakespearean, Chekhovian or otherwise.

The Chronicles of Juan Bobo

Juan bobo

Juan Bobo Voter Registration   

in Washington Heights

WASHINGTON HEIGHTS, NYPolitics is an extremely greasy pole in New York City. But some politicians are reaching a new low in WashingtonHeights, in their desperate bid to save their political careers.

With a 22% job approval rating, State Senator Adriano Espaillat has become desperate and is employing an unprecedented tactic.

Espaillat is running all over his district, registering dead people into the Democratic party.

exorcist3Espaillat sees dead people…then registers them to vote 

It is unclear how these people will vote on election day. However, according to the Senator, “the people will rise up and vote for change…and that change is me.”

A massive voter turnout for State Senator Espaillat

The Chronicles of Juan Bobo

Juan bobo

Juan Bobo:

More Campaign Slander 

WASHINGTON HEIGHTS, NYC  – Now that Juan Bobo is a candidate for U.S. Congress, a strange set of accusations are starting to swirl around him.

The latest is that Juan is not serious about running. He is simply using the campaign to promote his Fry Krisp pancake mix.

Pancake Bobo

The Chronicles of Juan Bobo

Juan bobo

Juan Bobo’s Income Tax Tips

Part VIII

Juan Bobo has never been audited. His friend Papo Bullshit is audited every year. But Papo has a simple technique, that settles every tax audit very quickly.

For the past 37 years, Papo welcomes the tax man graciously into his home.

He serves them a home-made piragua.

Bobo Piragua

 

Then he says “say hello to my little friend.”     

Papo has not paid any taxes since 1975.

The Chronicles of Juan Bobo

Juan bobo

Juan Bobo’s Income Tax Tips

Part III 

Juan Bobo has not paid any income taxes for the past 12 years.

All his tax strategies are legal, and Juan has never even audited.

Here are a few more tax tips from Juan Bobo:

INVENT A NEW PRODUCT and deduct all research & development expenses, including damage to your nose.

Juan Bobo Fork

BE THE ONLY HONEST LAWYER IN TOWN, and go broke when your clients leave you.

Juan Bobo Honest Lawyer

 

BECOME A PROPHET, gaze frequently into the sky, and deduct all your travel expenses.

Juan Bobo Prophet

OPEN A BAR IN WILLIAMSBURG and invite all your unpublished friends. You’ll go bankrupt in a week.

Juan Bobo 3

IF THE IRS EVER CALLS, tell them you’re clinically depressed.

The Chronicles of Juan Bobo