Juan Bobo Arrested in the Afterlife

Juan Bobo Arrested in the Afterlife

Juan Bobo was arrested again this weekend.

On Friday March 8, while watching CNN, the Puerto Rican ingested his weekend hit of Salvia Divinorum. The salvia induced into an out-of-body experience (OBE), which landed him smack dab in the afterlife.

Juan Bobo goes out of body

According to the Puerto Rican, “One moment I’m watching CNN, the next moment I’m Sarah Palin, then suddenly I land up here!”

The Jehovah County Police Department arrested him on charges of identity theft, public lewdness and outright lying. 

 

Fifty Shades of Juan Bobo

    

One day, while the Criollos were losing by 13-2 to the second-worst team in the league, Juan Bobo caught his shortstop reading Fifty Shades of Grey in the dugout.  Juan fined him $100 and snatched it away.

It sounded like a book on interior decorating but, as he flipped through it, Juan became very disturbed.

 

“Ai coño,” he said.

 

The book was about spanking – Juan found this shocking, barbaric, and he had stopped doing it a long time ago. He refused to participate in any degradation of women, regardless of what his family said.

 

Juan’s great grandfather, Juan Bobo Camacho, built a cattle empire based on discipline and family values.

 

 

His grandfather, the Rev. Bobo Bautista, performed 14 exorcisms and saved dozens of women from eternal damnation. 

 

 

Juan’s father was an accountant. He did the best he could.

 

 

 

But Juan had put all this behind him. He threw away the book and gave it no further thought. Then a week later at Luis Muñoz Marín Airport, Juan Bobo saw the graphic novel version of Fifty Shades.

 

Juan bought the book and was shocked all over again. The story was poorly written, but the real problem was the spanking techniques. They were exactly the ones his father had used. Scene after scene – the entire book – was based on the Bobo spanking style.

 

This was too much for Juan. The Yánquis had stolen his island, his farm lands, heritage and history – and now the Bobo family spanking techniques. They sold 65 million books and gave nothing back.  So Juan sued Random House, and demanded some money for his baseball field.